Crucial Conversations - Part I

Kauai HI - Apr 2012

A few months ago, I had the opportunity to take a "Crucial Conversations" course through work. The course was developed by the authors of the book Crucial Conversations. While taking the course, the thought came to me, "why are we never taught these skills? Every person on this planet could really benefit from learning these skills and trying to master them." They can be used at work, church, home, or anywhere. Today I would simply like to introduce the topic.

So to start out, what makes a conversation crucial? Every crucial conversation contains three elements: 1) Opposing opinions, 2) Strong emotions, and 3) High stakes.

This quote is used often throughout the material but it's so true: "When it matters most, we often do our worst." Our amazing bodies naturally trigger adrenaline that drives blood from our brain into our limbs, so it can help us fight or take flight in the face of danger. Unfortunately, this loss of blood in brain can really limit our ability to think and act rationally.

The first skill to learn to better have crucial conversations is to "Identify Where You're Stuck." Under the Law of Crucial Conversations it says: " Anytime you find yourself stuck, there are crucial conversations keeping you there." We need to be able to figure out what conversations we are either not holding or not holding well. Here are some questions the course provided that you can ask yourself to help figure out where you may be "stuck."

• What bad results do you want to fix?
• What good results are you currently unable to achieve?
• What problem are you always trying to fix?
• What do people gripe about?

After asking yourself these questions, it's time to officially ask, where are you stuck? Stay tuned for insight on how to become "unstuck."